she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
