Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
then he tried to convert me to islam
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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