We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Never let your siblings swipe right.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
