There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i now understand why vodka
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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