so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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