mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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