Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
