before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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