fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize