walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
