You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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