it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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