I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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