i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
