we have officially lost it.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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