I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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