There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
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found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
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There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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