who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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