We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He better not be in your backpack
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
