I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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