i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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