Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
When did angry sex become our thing?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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