I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
