Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Randomize
