I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
