I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
