Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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