Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
