Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
