last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
