Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
