There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
