Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
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