where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
