who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
