I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
