you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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