Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
