My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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