I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
