I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
