we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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