Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think I am morally bankrupt
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
