I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
