It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
