I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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