I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
