so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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