she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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