I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
im holly from the hills drunk
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize