Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize