i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Farmville is her only friend.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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