D3 body, D1 cock
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
