well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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