Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He shit in the fireplace
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
