And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
