She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
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