problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
