what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
His nipple licking is glorious
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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