I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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